one time when i was like 12 my dad wanted me to put a dvd in the dvd player and i was like ‘what do i get in return’ and he said ‘you can have half of the winnings of this stupid lotto ticket’ and he ended up winning 60 dollars and i was so pleased with myself. 30 dollars when youre 12 is pretty much like infinity dollars. he was so mad
if you don’t get enough sleep and your grades are dropping and you get too attached to people and you suck at being a friend and you can’t do anything right and you’re wasting your life away clap your hands (⊙‿⊙✿)
omG I’M WATCHING A DOCUMENTARY ABOUT HOW DOLPHINS ARE SMARTER THAN HUMANS AND THAT THEY’RE ACTUALLY COMMUNICATING WITH US BUT WE’RE TOO STUPID TO KNOW AND THE OPENING IS A MUSICAL BY DOLPHINS SINGING SO LONG AND THANKS FOR ALL THE FISH WHAT THE FUCK???c ?? ????!??cc?
I’ve just been informed that this is actually Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
remember when we were kids and we used to all sing that demented version of the barney song where it was like “i hate you you hate me let’s go out and kill barney”
i don’t remember ever doing this. you were a fucked up kid
i hate you
you hate me
let’s go out an kill barney
with a baseball bat
and a 4x4
NO MORE PURPLE DINOSAUR
So much childhood right here
ah so much
Imagine if allmates had poor reception sometimes so yOU SEE PEOPLE HOLDING THEIR ROBOT ANIMALS UP LIKE SIMBA TO TRY AND GET A SIGNAL LIKE OH MY GD O
I think I’m gonna try to watch Supernatural from the beginning when I get home. Seems pretty good.
okay today i learned that apparently the penis has a say in whether or not a child will be a boy or a girl
female sperm swims slower than male sperm, but the males can’t swim for as long as the females. this means that a long penis will be closer to the egg when releasing the sperm, and there will be a higher chance for the child to be a boy.
so in conclusion
if you have a lot of sons you have a big dick
THIS IS MY NEW FAVORITE POST